Right Again!

accordion bellows

2005-10-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

Okay.

I'm not right about this YET because it hasn't happened.

But I keep predicting things and then they come true and I'm all "I KNEW that would happen" and everyone's all "Yeah yeah sure you did." So this time I'm making a record where probably no one will find it but where I can point it out later with it's date stamp to prove that i'm ahead of the curve. because I am.

Here's what it is:
People should put cool pictures - most likely candidate would be old-school pin-ups - inside their accordion bellows so that as they open and close the bellows enticing pictures are revealed and hidden again. It would be so tantalizing and the sexiest thing to happen to the accordion since . . . well . . . probably ever.

So mark my words.
This WILL come to pass at which point we will find that I was . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

about Tia Pol

2005-09-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

I went to Tia Pol a couple of months ago with my friend jon and we loved it. it was great! we fully recognized its tapas-superiority and i was psyched to bring my friends back in droves.

cut to: this weekend's NY Times magazine section which features . . . Tia Pol! And which also made mention of two other favorites, Prue and 'ino!!

Now it'll be too crowded at any of those places to get in for months.

Nevertheless, let it be duly noted that when it comes to Tia Pol I am . . . RIGHT AGAIN!!!

about the comedy group The State

2005-09-06T13:19:00.000-07:00

I always loved The State.
I watched them in High School and my brother and I still have inside jokes and punch lines from their skits that we repeat.

So I went last night to see "The Baxter" a new movie written by, directed by and staring Michael Showalter of The State, and featuring others, like Michael Ian Black and David Wain (who has, arguably, the funniest monologue of the film).

It's an excellent movie. Very funny. Very well made and acted.

I've always loved The State and as their members continue to shine on, it seems clear that I am . . . RIGHT AGAIN!!!

that my boyfriend makes good music

2005-09-02T12:12:00.000-07:00

he thinks so too
but he's less sure of himself.

he was wanting to participate in a music festival
and he gave the organizer his band's demo
and then he wondered really hard if they'd get in.

i told him that the organizer would surely fall to his knees and acknowledge his superiority

and then

they were asked to open the festival!

i've banned low-music-self-esteem

and declared myself . . . RIGHT AGAIN!!!

that beer is dinner

2005-08-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

Last night I had beer for dinner.

So, I guess when it comes to my assertion that beer = dinner I'm . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

about cooking

2005-08-22T13:54:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend is reticent to cook.
He likes to order in
or eat out
or have something pre-prepared.

But he went to Vermont and brought back all of this syrup - in many infused flavors.
So we needed to try it.
And he has a waffle maker.
So we needed to try that too.

So I made the batter
And he read the instructions
And working together we made the BEST batch of waffles EVER.

They were delicious
He admitted he had fun.

So, it seems, that when I say it's good to cook at home I am . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

about my boss's hair

2005-06-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

all week this week, my boss has been fretting over her hair.

she's trying to grow it out and it keeps not looking the way she wants it to.

she puts it up.
she takes it down.
she said she uses hot rollers, like, all the time.

stop! i said.
you have a good hair cut.
stop working against it.
let your haircut be what it is.
maybe use a little product.

but i need body, she said

blow dry upside down, said i.

so she did.

and she came in yesterday, thrilled (and looking good, by the way)
and she came in today, thrilled and reporting that her husband, son and sister had all remarked favorably.

we're not sure why, but i seem to know something about hair.

and in my boss's case, it seems that I was . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

that my grandma is evil V

2005-06-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

we seem to be on a roll.

the evil, in this case, takes the form of a birthday card.

the card itself:
outside: four cartoon drawings. in each, the same man milks a different cow.
inside: "It's your birthday! Milk it for all it's worth"

what my grandmother wrote:
upper right hand corner: "For June 4, 2005"
above printed message: "ee,"
bellow printed message: "Grandmother"

Analysis:
1. The card itself is snotty. My grandma is calling me selfish and, potentially, a bunch of other things. This card with this message, while sent in good-fun from a reasonable human being, is a pointed snipe from my grandma.
2. She never addresses me as "ee" but rather always by my full first name and she never refers to herself as "grandmother" but rather "grandma." She's making a point of being cold and distant.
3. The traditional check - because she can't be bothered to think about anyone else long enough to figure out what a nice gift might be - is conspicuously absent.

Conclusion:
My grandma gets more and more evil EVERY DAY and I am . . . (drum roll, please) . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

that my grandma is evil IV

2005-05-11T12:46:00.000-07:00

i know i know . . . but she's been REALLY evil lately!

since we returned from France and she didn't like the way i spent the money she gave me for the trip, she hadsn't been in touch. i've e-mailed three or four times.

on mother's day, my brother called her. she e-mailed him right away.

my mom suggested that i not be outdone by my brother.

my brother teased me that he's going to get all of the money when she dies.
he's probably right.

mom: crushed by a life-long abusive relationship with her mother
brother: an obnoxious pain-in-the-neck who's never had a hard time with anything
grandma: evil
me: RIGHT AGAIN!

that my grandma is evil III

2005-05-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

mothers day evil in two parts.

part one.
my mom hand crafted a beautiful card, wrote a heart-felt message of love and sent it off to her mom, my grandma. on friday, when the card arrived, my grandma picked up the phone, called my mom, and in what i understand to be a rather flat and un-feeling tone said "i got your card. thanks." this got my mother so upset that when she called me weeping, i couldn't even understand what she was saying until she'd managed to calm down.

part two.
background: my mom calls my grandma at least twice a day. she doesn't want to. it's expected. she feels obliged. so. yesterday was mothers day. my mom called my grandma who did not answer the phone. mom left a message. my brother ian, in a bold-faced suck-up, called my grandma too, also got the machine and also left a message. later that day, ian got a weird-but-nice e-mail from grandma thanking him for his call. mom never heard from grandma. not once. she even tried calling back. nothing.

i think we should all just get the inheritance now for our suffering and trouble.

in the meantime, i'll have to content myself with being RIGHT AGAIN!

that the decemberists are an awesome band

2005-04-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

the evidence is abundant, but track seven on their new album, "picaresque" is more than enough to make me . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

that a play called "incredible sex" would be neither incredible nor sexy

2005-04-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

the good news was that "incredible sex" wasn't awful.
in fact, the friend i went to see acting in the play was quite good.

but, i'm just saying: you go into a play called "incredible sex" knowing it won't be very good and just hoping it won't be too too bad.

it's not a major revelation, but having anticipated mediocre-to-poor theater and then having seen "incredible sex" it seems only fair to remark that i was . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

that sensitivity training is a crock

2005-04-04T17:29:00.000-07:00

Last week, I had to go to "volunteer training" with two of my co-workers because our work is bringing us, regularly, into a particular environment that involves a particular set of minors. A big part of the "training" was about confidentality, so I won't say where it is - that's maybe the only part of the "training" for which I have any respect.

"Training" took two hours.

"Training," as is turns out, is just a fancy word for "covering our asses, legally."

It was an insulting waste of time.

The presenter was the worst presenter ever - reading awkwardly from a script, clicking through the most innane powerpoint presentation ever.

That was bad.

However, worst was the interactive portion of the presentation. We were asked to consider what we would do when faced with a number of different situations. This might have been an opportunity for an interesting and informative discussion. In fact, it was an opportunity for the presenter to change the scenarios-mid question to make our answers wrong. It was an excercise in seeing the world in binary, black and white. We were supposed to guess the "correct" answer, when really, there could be no one such thing.

I left grumpy. And my co-workers and I agreed that we were all less-sensitive as a result.

I knew it would be lame and I was . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

that the 3 year old I babysit is my soul mate

2005-03-27T07:31:00.000-08:00

I swear, if he were 30 years older, we'd totally get married.

While playing with play-dough, he said "i'll cut it into quarters," which was surprising enough. Quarters?
But then he said, "let's see what happens if we cut them in half . . . ?"
Let's see, indeed!

*sigh*

He also likes to talk about letters and sound out words . . . just for fun.

In recognizing the awesomeness of this kid, I am of course RIGHT AGAIN!

that my grandma is evil II

2005-03-25T06:24:00.000-08:00

This from an e-mail from my Grandma to me. My grandma had given me (via my mom) some money to spend on a recent trip to france that I took with my mom (her daughter) and my brother. I had written, post trip. to thank her.

" I must say I was not particularly pleased to hear that my gift of money for the trip was spent on gifts for your friends. Your friends are not my responsibility and that money was to be used for you and the other members of your family and not on chocolates to bring back to people I don't know. I am sure you will not like my saying all this, but that doesn't matter."

EVIL

RIGHT AGAIN!

that Purim is a great holiday

2005-03-25T05:36:00.000-08:00

Hamentashen.

That's all you need to know.

Hamentashen.

me: RIGHT AGAIN!

that my shoes are AWESOME

2005-03-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

sure, i'm in love with my camo converse low top all stars, but that could just be my quirkyness.

in fact, no.

everyone at work loves them too.

my sneakers rock and I am RIGHT AGAIN!

that my grandma's evil

2005-03-21T17:02:00.000-08:00

because when my mom cried, grandma was all sweetness and light
and when my mom went on vacation with me and my brother for a week and had a good time, my grandma was really mean and pissy to her in order to punish my mom and make her feel bad.
i'm right about my grandma being evil often.
but this does not stop me from being
RIGHT AGAIN!

that i'm awesome

2005-03-21T16:59:00.000-08:00

because amy loves my other blog and thinks it's really funny.

no one reads my blogs
(because i don't tell anyone about them)
so i'd forgotten that people often like what and how i write
even if it's just incidental or frivolous

but amy reminded me

and as i have long suspected my own awesomeness,
i must conclude that amy's enthusiasm prooves that i am
RIGHT AGAIN!

Mission Statement

2005-03-21T06:54:00.000-08:00

Since I seem to be correct so often, this blog will chronicle the many instances on which I am Right Again!