Friday, June 24, 2005

about my boss's hair

all week this week, my boss has been fretting over her hair.

she's trying to grow it out and it keeps not looking the way she wants it to.

she puts it up.
she takes it down.
she said she uses hot rollers, like, all the time.

stop! i said.
you have a good hair cut.
stop working against it.
let your haircut be what it is.
maybe use a little product.

but i need body, she said

blow dry upside down, said i.

so she did.

and she came in yesterday, thrilled (and looking good, by the way)
and she came in today, thrilled and reporting that her husband, son and sister had all remarked favorably.

we're not sure why, but i seem to know something about hair.

and in my boss's case, it seems that I was . . . RIGHT AGAIN!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

that my grandma is evil V

we seem to be on a roll.

the evil, in this case, takes the form of a birthday card.

the card itself:
outside: four cartoon drawings. in each, the same man milks a different cow.
inside: "It's your birthday! Milk it for all it's worth"

what my grandmother wrote:
upper right hand corner: "For June 4, 2005"
above printed message: "ee,"
bellow printed message: "Grandmother"

1. The card itself is snotty. My grandma is calling me selfish and, potentially, a bunch of other things. This card with this message, while sent in good-fun from a reasonable human being, is a pointed snipe from my grandma.
2. She never addresses me as "ee" but rather always by my full first name and she never refers to herself as "grandmother" but rather "grandma." She's making a point of being cold and distant.
3. The traditional check - because she can't be bothered to think about anyone else long enough to figure out what a nice gift might be - is conspicuously absent.

My grandma gets more and more evil EVERY DAY and I am . . . (drum roll, please) . . . RIGHT AGAIN!